Slowing down also helps me soothe the edges of my psychic awareness. I am consciously aware of being constantly bombarded by psychic noise of one sort or another, such as info about people, the speed at which the energy on and of earth is changing, upcoming world events, others’ emotions, etc. It happens to all of us, some of us are just more sensitive to it than others.
When I take the time for me, just resting or reading or meditating or enjoying the ocean, I find it easier to allow all of that psychic noise to just slide off of me. I can feel the edges of my awareness relaxing and healing and I tend to reconnect even deeper to the eternal part of me – that is also the eternal part of everything. It makes life more delicious.
Additionally, and more interestingly, slowing down means I let go of resistance and my inner growth zooms. I just get out of my own way. So I embrace slowing down wholeheartedly and am even learning to allow it before I get so stressed that some part of me has to create a specific event to remind me (those events usually hurt!).
So ‘they’ say you should produce blogs and newsletters, offer classes and specials, and be as prolific as you can to attract business. Or write those annoying (and long) marketing emails and send them out as often as possible. Of course, ‘they’ also say you should look a certain way, do certain things, and earn a certain income, etc.
If you are paying attention to your inner being/higher self/intuitive guidance (all the same to me) you may find that your actions are timed differently and are just completely different than any of that. You may find satisfaction in the simple things, basking in the sacredness of inner stillness. You may find just enough income plenty for you.
I know I have surprised myself. For instance, I have pretty much overhauled all my beliefs about money over the years but especially in the past year. I know my passion and commitment is to inner spiritual growth while in this body and EVERYTHING else comes after that. So I am more accepting of jobs that are not super-satisfying as long as I get to maintain my spiritual growth and they meet a few other basic requirements. I live pretty simply so I can spend money on what is important to me (books, fabric, some medical needs and my cat). Everything I was using money for is healing - to fill the insecurities up, to stay closed to people so I won't get hurt, etc.
I even caught an image of myself the other day as I entered a building and really liked what I saw – purple hair, sagging neck, Walmart clothes, ‘extra’ 30 lbs and all. Certainly none of that fits in with what I imagine 'they say is supposed to be. It has taken a lot of internal work to get to this place and I am thrilled to be here. I am writing about it so I will remember it ALL THE TIME!!! LOL!!
This is a time of rejoicing, celebrating the new you. Now you have to give yourself time to allow the ‘new’ you to emerge. It really is the true you before you adopted all that negativity or ‘rules’ on how you are supposed to behave, how you connect with others and what defines success.
It is ok to have a period of adjustment. Have patience and show compassion for yourself as you navigate the self-discovery path once again. Try new things, even if it is just taking a new route to work each day or looking at your current relationships differently. Any activity or choice that supports you being fully present and aware will lead you towards what is best for you. But most of all have fun. In the light of amusement and joy will come your greatest realizations and connections.
Ever wanted to change something about yourself or get something accomplished but just couldn't make it happen no matter how hard you tried?
It is possible this desire to change or accomplish something specific comes from a deep inner knowing that the it is right for you and is coming but you aren't quite aware yet that there are certain things that need to heal or transform before it arrives. Knowing this can spur your growth and/or trigger it.
For instance, I have been trying to go 'raw' in my food for about 7-8 years. I felt called to it and knew it was right for me. I had heard about it maybe 5 years prior to that but I had so much resistance and so much inner emotion tied to eating for comfort, emotional fulfillment and escape that I could not do it. My sense of depirvation and victimhood was in the way. I then developed several physical diseases that could definitely have been mitigated by eating properly. Additionally, as I transformed into a higher vibrational being there were (are) certain foods my body just could no longer tolerate. I still struggled for 4 more years with tryng to eat alive and high vibrational foods. A few months ago I started getting sick ANY TIME I ate foods that were different from that.
I always knew I had to heal whatever wouldn't allow me to eat properly rather than exert my will over the out-of-control inner child that insisted on eating to help every emotional situation but I had a lot of shame because I listened to other people's judgment of me and because I didn't bow to accepted societal pressure to "get thin". In the meantime I have been constantly shifting, expanding and healing old limiting ehaviors, beleifs and patterns. After years of healing and changing, I recently had a series of major spiritual and energy transformations in seemingly unrelated areas and WHAM!! with no warning, fanfare or drama, my eating habits changed. I cook very few foods these days and eat even less processed foods. These transformations also helped me be very calm, centered and trusting around my income and certain other core issues I have carried around this life time.
I notice this in all areas of my life, even something as inconsequential as trying to finish a sewing project for someone else. If i try to push to make anything happen, completion or accomplishment seems to move farther away. If I relax and focus on embracing whatever reaction or thought comes from within when I don't want to continue or when things don't seem to be moving, everything flows much faster. These days I am letting inspiration carry me to wherever my higher self directs.
Recently I have been very angry with someone who has been a friend for a long time. Everything about her that I normally can deal with was making the anger worse. I was beside myself with frustration that I couldn’t let it go and wondered over and over why it was so intense. She wasn’t doing or acting in any way different than she usually does. However, no matter how often I embraced that anger or loved up the judgment (and asked forgiveness from her and her higher self) the anger stuck around and stayed very focused on her.
After a lot of inner work on other things, I finally realized I was angry because for a specific length of time a she was representing a lot of my fears and it was easier to blame her or focus on her than my own insecurities and issues. I am revisiting all the stuff I let people do to me in this life due to my lack of self-esteem so I am particularly sensitive to the slightest whiff of disrespect (intended or not). I had been experiencing another level of anguish over my faith (or lack of faith) in my intuitive guidance or that the universe will take care of me in a positive way and therefore was trying to make an income strictly from whatever came my way, even if it wasn’t in my highest and best good. Additionally, because of my fear around my income level many of my decisions were clearly fear based (a job I took and stayed with for too long, not purchasing certain basic things I needed, clinging to past negative experiences as my guide post for not offering healing classes, and asking her’s and other people’s opinions when I was in resistance). All of these things were mirrored and encouraged by certain things this friend does, says or believes, including her denial that she has any fear or makes any decisions from fear (something I do – in my mind at least).
I also mistook what is fear for practicality. It was time for me to heal at a deeper and to recognize, and appropriately detach, from my dependence on her beliefs and approval and from the fears she was mirroring so beautifully. As a result I have integrated my spiritual awareness to a deeper level and made great leaps in bridging the physical and ego with the spiritual energies of me, all while releasing a lot of pent up/suppressed negative emotions. An intense learning experience, for sure.
I am deeply grateful for her willingness to mirror this for me. I bet we are all like that to at least one other person but this past month I got to see it within her and me clearly. God Bless her and everyone else in my life who agreed to be this kind of mirror and/or catalyst for my continued growth.
I recently attended a meeting at a catholic church to hear a lay person speak. This person has been documented as dying and coming back to life 3 days later. Now he goes around to Catholic churches testifying about his personal relationship with Jesus (he talks to and hears from Jesus every day) and praying over their prayer petitions (they write what their prayers on paper and put them in a box for him to take and pray over later). He is not allowed by the Catholic church to do hands on healing and he abides by their rules. I am not Catholic or even Christian but something about this drew me. I follow my intuition, so I went. I prayed to be open-minded and to support any healing needed (by me and others). When I first saw this man I felt a wash of loving and gentle energy flow through me, kind of like people talk about being touched by the holy spirit. My heart opened even more while I sat there. I petitioned for healing for my liver and blood sugar issues.
I woke in the middle of the night going through some kind of energy healing. I felt the energy – stronger than when I was at the meeting – flow through my entire body. My skin tingled. I did not see the exact time but my instinct tells me it was around 3am. I felt very alive and wide awake yet didn’t move. As soon as the energy stopped moving I went right back to sleep.
When I woke up the next day my blood sugar had dropped 30 points – HUGE for me. I also found myself rejecting my inner needy child’s desire for snacks and sugar throughout the day. WOW!! Really WOW is all I can even write or say about this. There was a time I wouldn’t even go into a church – thank god and my higher self and all the inner work I have done that I am very tuned in to my guidance and willing to follow. Stay open - miracles could be right around the corner.
I felt completely loved – so open, as if liquid love was flowing through all of me. For an instant I felt merged with her. Her message was one of reassurance and love. A reminder that I am more than the body – even more than the intuitive senses I use every day – and loved so thoroughly there was no need to hold on to the fear, sorrow and pain from this or any life time.
I had been working with my inner child. The one that never felt taken care of or safe, who could never relax as a kid and never let herself relax as an adult, and who never felt loved and wanted someone to save her. This part of me colored everything I feel and choose. So much so that even though money has begun flowing and support is showing up in all kinds of ways, I was becoming more and more agitated emotionally that things weren’t going my way and more and more tired at the amount and type of work I had to do to make things better for myself. As this part became more insistent on being healed, I became more depressed and angry, using my numbing agent of choice, food, more and more. However, I couldn’t find the inner peace I usually experience.
I did a lot of surrendering and healing for a few days (with myself and two wonderful healers) before I gained enough perspective to actually work with the emotional part of me that seemed to be the source of all of this. I told this little inner wounded child that I would always be here for her even when she didn’t believe it. I saw her huddled in the middle of my body. I saw when she stopped believing that things could be good, people could keep their word and that love didn’t have to hurt. There was some healing happening all around her but she was too mired in the fear. I did my best to love her up but it is hard to love unconditionally to any inner child when the adult trying to do the loving and reassuring is so influenced by that inner child.
So this wonderful spirit showed up to help her heal. After she faded I wondered who it was. The answer rang so true I could not doubt it. She was an aspect of my ‘higher’, true or inner self. I am that love and that compassion and that radiant.
* ok as an aside – why does this stuff always happen when I am in the bathtub?
But it reminded me how often people want to put those of us who have already opened to our higher selves on a pedestal or to tear us down from the pedestal on which they perceive us. Worse than that is how many lightworkers I see or hear claiming to be special because of their intuitive gifts while telling another lightworker how to act or what to write or say in order to be a true spiritual person. Come to think of it, I might have done some of that earlier in my growth (my apologies).
Here’s an interesting bit of information that many seem to deny or not know – we are ALL aspects of god. If we want to reconnect with our higher selves or inner beings WE CAN!!! All of us.
No one is prevented from doing it by anything other than his or her own choices and perceived limitations. I am not better than anyone because I chose long ago to commit to a lifetime of inner work to know my soul intimately while in a human body, and some enhanced intuitive skills developed as that work continued. Just as I am not less than anyone because that commitment takes me far away from what many consider success or appropriate living behavior in this physical world.
Please love yourself enough to believe (or pretend to believe until you really do) that you too can be as open to your inner being’s guidance as any lightworker you read about, talk to or communicate with. Your own intuitive skills and intimate knowledge of your higher self can develop in a way that is perfect for you, if you want and allow. If you put someone on a pedestal, have the grace to reassess when they fall off, because they will fall off. Find your own inner discernment about what is channeled, intuited, or asserted. And most of all, if someone is insisting you must do something a certain way, walk away. Only you can choose what is right for you and a light worker walking his or her own truth will know this and respect it and you.
And it is ok, and your right, to ignore all of this!!!
A few days ago I went to traffic school. The teacher was fun but we spent HOURS listening to everyone’s traffic horror stories. The energy was overwhelming in spite of the amount of time I spent reaffirming my safety and joyfulness. I found myself afraid to even drive home. After asking for AA Michael’s help to dissipate that energy before I started the car, I drove directly to my favorite place that overlooks the beach. I got out of the car and I walked to the edge of the overlook as if pulled. I couldn’t have turned away if I wanted to – and I did not want to. It was cold and breezy and the sun was beginning its descent for the day. I turned my face to the sun, closed my eyes and asked the ocean, the wind and the sun to cleanse me, to help me feel better and to help my heart energy expand again.
At first it was just cold and I could only feel the wind flow around me. As I stood there I felt the sun penetrate into my brain and the wind begin to clear my energy. Resistance to being open and expanded melted. I felt my heart open wide as if doors were being flung with exuberance and within an instant I became the ocean, flowing freely. I could intuitively feel my energy flow over the sea creatures and through the ocean plants. It was exhilarating. All of the worries, fears and judgments of the day dissolved. I felt like me again. Even when my conscious awareness came back to my physical surroundings the feeling of well-being persisted. What a delightful end to a not-as-delightful day.
But you know what?? That isn’t me. So for those of us who do appreciate, who are grateful and who do our best to be positive but crave or respond to more multi-dimensionally spiritual bent in our communications, shifts and growth, I am going to continue to be myself.
The good news is that there are many ways to get to where we are all going even when we are not aware of where we are going!!! The earth is evolving, so are we. It doesn’t mater if you do it through your religion, being positive, appreciating, working the land, giving to others, intense spiritual meditating and energy work, or raising and loving your kids the best way you know how – or all of these ways. It is perfect for you.
What a relief!!! Just be yourself in all areas, all ways, always.