I am practicing being me. Every day with every inner shift I uncover more and more of who I truly am. I am filling all the emotional and energetic holes with my higher self, the expanded loving and joyful energy of me. It has been an eye opener for sure.
No more illusions. No more pretending to be what I am not. No more obligations, enabling, saying or doing anything just to please someone else or to try to get a tiny bit of my needs met. No more biting my tongue for fear that if I disagree, even the slightest bit, someone won’t like me or pay me what they owe me or they will hurt me. No more merging my energy with others to find out how they are feeling or to anticipate their next several moves so I won’t be hurt or lose a job. No more getting angry at anyone else because I am feeling needy when I haven’t asked for help or they have no idea who I am because I have adjusted my energy to match theirs and/or pretended (not always consciously) to be someone else in order to be liked or to fill the loneliness void. I am now being authentically honest (from my heart) with friends, acquaintances, family members, bosses, and on job applications and in interactions with people while I look for a place to live.
This is a very deep issue for me and stems from a childhood with abusive parents and from other lives, where I learned most of it. In the course of my spiritual wakening I have been intensely healing inner wounds so that I could then put into practice being myself. It has not been gracefully done or consistent. However, I am finally at a point of loving myself enough and knowing that I AM enough so I can be myself with anyone.
The results? I have been rejected a lot lately. It hurts and I am grateful because I am very clear about needing to be me at all times and to only be around people who can honor that. I am basking in my own loving energy, knowing that I am creating a whole new life from it. I feel so light and free!!