Recently I had an unexpected opportunity to re-live some old sadness, shame and fear around the way I interacted with men in my early years, and all the pain and hurt that has led to in my life. In the middle of feeling all the old sadness and fear, I focused on what works in my life today, what I am grateful for and appreciative of, and on loving myself. It didn’t make the sadness and fear process through faster (that I know of) but it reminded me these are just emotions not all of who I am and I tolerated it all better. I also prayed for help in reducing or releasing addictive behaviors that I usually use to handle life during the processing of fear, sadness, anxiety and anger. I imagined giving the need to indulge in those behaviors to God and filling back up with God’s energy (or the energy from my higher self, depending on what words work for me in the moment). It helped a lot.
That is what I mean by practical spirituality: using the tools and trust to handle the every day, moment-by-moment things that show up in my life. I make step by step conscious choices that lead to a more trusting, joyful, expansive and authentic life. It just so happens these kinds of choices also support moving into higher dimensional living. I bring God into every detail, because I know I am an aspect of God. God is always there anyway but I am just more into acknowledging it these days. It reminds me to identify with my ‘true’ self rather than the ego or the inner suppressed emotions or old patterns of thought, emotion and behavior.
Slowly but surely I am being transformed. I can see and feel the results in a way I didn’t throughout years of intense spiritual evolving where I spent a lot of time releasing traumas and blocks, helping the earth on a higher level, and opening to an incredible depth of intuitive knowing. Now I am sure I would not be ready to live in the moment with God so thoroughly if I hadn’t done all the prep work to get here. I also know some people start from here and then allow transformation at other levels of their being. I tend to go from the big picture to the details in everything I do, this was no different. There are not a lot of huge swooping dramatic changes this way, but the steady and sure growth and improvement in my daily life are a blessed relief. This is how I am learning to be human AND a conscious aspect of god at the same time – always my goal in my spiritual evolution.
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July 8, 2010, 7 pm Pacific Time, Encinitas, CA
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