I use all sorts of patterns to distract me from what is really going in inside of me. If fear is coming up I might pretend to get out of control with my eating habits, or obsess about money or what my business is (or may not be) doing. Lately I have been distracting myself by focusing on the lower vibration energy of the job I took to ease my money worries.
Yes, it would be in my highest and best interest to not be in such a place each day yet my highest and best interest was clashing with the very practical need to attract enough money to live in this physical world comfortably RIGHT NOW. The truth is it was a simple decision to stick with the job or leave it but I was blowing it out of proportion because of some intense fear that I thought was about the job interfering with my passion – assisting people in their spiritual awakening and being able to continue my own intense spiritual evolution.
I had a big breakthrough on Saturday that once again made me realize that much of the ‘stuff’ I was going through over the past month or so was in reaction to some pretty intense fear of what my next level of spiritual awakening might bring and had nothing to do with the job at all. I was reminded of a particular process to address whatever fear is coming up without needing to know the details while working with two clients. It makes it easier to process through the fears. Isn’t it wonderful how my clients can teach me and remind me of who I am and what I already know while I am assisting them?
While using that process I was able to embrace and address the fears that have been so strong within me and move through them. I then moved into a deeper awareness of my true self and integrated more of my true or higher self into my consciousness and body. It was only then that I came to know that the struggles over the past month have been in reaction to this fear that wanted to heal.
I woke up in peace today. Yesterday I woke up still processing, but today I am calmer and more peaceful. I have chosen to stay with the part time job for now and I am moving forward with offering classes locally while researching how to do it online. Everything seems effortless after I am able to stop resisting the natural flow of my spiritual evolution.