I have learned that I am not as smart, talented or gifted as I thought I was. I used to make myself feel better by focusing on thinking I was smarter than everyone around me, until I went to a conference where just about everyone in the room seemed smarter than I was/am. I used to take great pleasure in how talented of an artist I thought I was until I was around truly talented and gifted creative people. You get the drift.
This ascension journey has not brought me good health, riches and recognition like I thought it would. It has however ripped away everything my ego hung on to in order to feel better. Somewhere along the way I also seem to have lost a lot of passion for the things and processes that used to motivate me – art, cooking, learning, exploring, shopping, and sex (in my earlier years). I guess that goes hand in hand with separating me from everything outside of me that I used to feel better.
What am I left with?
I am left with the wonder of the eternal me. I am left with the inner joy and appreciation of my soul. My inner being. I am less bitter about how my life has progressed and not having what I think I want. When I am feeling down or caught up in emotions that are very strong because they are healing and leaving, just my own energy and thoughts help me feel better.
I can’t say I am happy but I AM more content.