Thursday, 24 December 2015 22:12

Delicate Re-awakening

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Such a beautiful feeling – the feeling of reawakening, of opening more to this human life. As my heart delicately flutters open, and I deal with the overwhelming emotions that accompany each step into the expansive me, the adventurer and explorer I thought I was when I was younger is coming out to play more.  It is definitely quieter and more mindful, more unencumbered with fear than it was when I was much younger and played at being fearless when I was really trying to escape from massive fear. I feel it as a new child, eyes wide open, heart excited, cautious only because I am being guided step by step by my inner wisdom and higher self so there is no hurrying or harshness or rushing ahead.

I recognized it when I was admiring that strong sense of adventure in another person. In conversation I remembered so many things I tried when I was younger, so much traveling, so much willingness to experience new things jump into the abyss and see what happened.  Life slapped me around a bit and I shut down. I felt the sadness of that very deeply tonight.  I also immediately knew that I gave myself the time to do a bunch of inner healing and growing in order to flower open again, many years in fact.

Right now I am in a preparation and resting time period. Each day brings new ‘aha’ moments, such as the one when I finally began beading again and realized the addiction I used to have and the high I used to get with art work is gone.  I enjoy it as a task to work on when it feels like fun but I connect with my inner divinity, heart and song at any point.  I do not need the art for that anymore or as a distraction from a life I don’t want. I have changed a lot.  I am so glad I allow the changes to occur even if I don’t recognize that they are occurring.

I am so much more peaceful than I was a day ago.  Thank you to my self for allowing this information to be known to my conscious self.  I am grateful for being ready for it.




*PS: Just so you know I have been going through emotional and physical chaos this past week as I teetered on the precipice of allowing myself this next step deeper into self-acceptance and awareness.  It was gentler than I have gone through in the past BUT a very recognizeable pattern.  I am happy the things that happen to me as I get ready to breakthrough are gentler than before and I now choose to embrace this pattern thoroughly and completely. 

Read 955 times
Login to post comments


Log in or create an account to post to Eileen's blog.

get blog notifications

Join Eileen on FacebookFollow Eileen on Twitter