I got up today early enough, ate, got dressed and went to a water mind/body movement class. Seems pretty mundane right? But for weeks I couldn’t get myself there. I would remind myself I should go, that I needed to go then proceed to beat myself up a little for not going. It all felt like I was fighting myself. Not today. Today – smooth as pie.
I am finding that with everything in my life. I am not in an energetic, psychic or spiritual place to do what I ‘should’ do to fit in with other people’s expectations or understanding. When I try to make myself some part of me fights back. I recognize that could be coming from my ego or from some inner part that doesn’t want to change for the better but the simple truth for me right now is that if I am not in alignment enough with something – an event, growing a relationship with someone, finding new work – it doesn’t happen.
I have written about this before (maybe once a year, I think) but apparently I keep forgetting because there is so much out there (and inside of me) that says this is the way I should act/be/do. I forget all of that is really marketing or controlling ploys. And I forget how off center I can get when I am going through big changes (like I have been for the past month or so).
I also forget now that I have opened up to so much of my soul being, my intuition comes softer and is more embedded. It isn’t like it used to be where I would hear voices in my head or get a picture of what is right. Now it is a slight pull or thought or a knowing of what is right. I will write more on this later because it is much bigger than this blog. But for today I was reminded again of the ease with which I can proceed if I just pay attention.
And that is my goal for this next phase of my life– more ease, more laughing and more fun