I was so sure it was intuitively right to leave my job. I planned three trips in April and May. I was happy at the thought of not working there anymore.
But my irritation at being there had more to do with my reactions to others’ words and energy than my own inner needs. As I lay in bed for 2 weeks with my second bout of the flu I had time to come back to myself. I had the space to feel my own inner heart and processes. I remembered that it doesn’t matter what others are saying, thinking, feeling or acting out. My commitment is to my own spiritual growth and to walk being the compassion and love I know I am.
When I went back to work with this knowing, it was so different. No irritation or impatience with either the customers or my coworkers. No feeling of panic that I am stuck in a job I hate when I swore to myself I would never do that to myself again. I realized I was repeating and remembering a pattern where my outer world reflects my own inner dissatisfaction but, instead of looking within, I blame others for how bad I felt.
I know a lot of people who hate their commute, hate their job, are unhappy with their friends or family or whatever. But are they really? Are they keeping themselves in these unhappy situations because they are truly stuck (and some are) or does their refusal to look within coupled with their higher self’s support to ascend mean that their outer life is just a reflection of inner conflicts? This is a time of revisiting our older patterns that no longer serve us. It is a time of waiting for some as enough other people catch up energetically. It is a time of healing deeper lower energies so we can be comfortable at the higher vibrations on earth.
I pray I will remember this always. I also pray I will be kind to myself when I don’t!!!!