Sunday, 21 March 2010 18:33

Living, Learning, Growing

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 Whew!!  I finally opened/expanded after a few days of constricting.  Because the ‘norm’ for me is to be in an expanded state of being it hurts physically and psychically now for me to constrict.

I got triggered by something on either Wed night or Thursday morn and have been struggling with it ever since.  I felt worse and worse as the time went on.  The panic coming up was so bad on Thursday I actually made an appointment with a temporary staffing agency to work for an organization back in an office as a manager or assistant manager – something I know for sure is NOT right for me.  My head interpreted the panic as money stuff so I applied for a bunch of jobs and called the agency.  I remember even being confused about it because just a few days prior my intuitive direction was so clear about how money was going to come to me and I felt so taken care of and trusting. What did I do to change it so fast?

I didn’t get any answers because t the panic was so strong and my gut started churning. A wonderful energy healer helped me feel better on Friday morning but because I was determined to stick to a schedule I set up during all this constriction I didn’t give it enough time to actually open up, only to feel slightly  better.  Then my shoulder started hurting and got worse and worse because the muscles in my back were tightening up.

God took care of my schedule and it was miraculously cleared except for what I really needed to do AND two clients booked sessions for that day. I asked for a sign during my discussion with the healer and I got it right away (the sign that it was ok to cancel the appt. with the temp agencies- I think two unexpected sessions booked back to back was a sign).

I was guided to stay away from people/stores etc yesterday (Sat) and I did, but I didn’t feel much better.  I walked in the sunshine and asked for help and guidance.  I did feel a bit better then but I don’t remember consciously getting any guidance. I tried channeling and meditating – nothing helped.  I kept asking to be cleared of anyone else’s energy, and that didn’t help either.  I totally forgot to ask to be detached from humanity’s shifting and the earth’s energy – sometimes that helps.

FINALLY – this morning I woke waay too early (another symptom when I am closed down is not sleeping properly) and asked again for help.  I asked for help in healing physically from the pain. I asked the healing aspects of the white brotherhood and AA Raphael for help.  I asked my guides and higher self for help with the crankiness and feeling out of sorts (I still hadn’t realized I was still constricted in any way).  I was told to go back to bed. finally some clear direction!!!  Once there I psychically walked in to the pain and felt it begin to dissipate.

I also felt myself begin to open up.  I saw the places that had been closed down.  Hard to tell if I closed down that much or just felt closed down because this layer was ready to open. Then I fell asleep. I awoke with no pain, a bit groggy (like a lot of work was done) and in a  completely different mood.

It turns out there was a shift that I was resisting.  I believe it has been coming for about a week but actually began to manifest last Wed.   All these other symptoms showed up because those are the way I process resistance these days.  It shows up as money,health or food issues and indecision, shoulder and stomach pain.  I also tend to spend more time with other needy or codependent people. Yet when I was in the middle of it I couldn’t get it to ease, I had to let it play out.

Now I am a bit drained from the drama because I am not used to this much drama any more either.  I am very grateful to be through it and to have had the help I did.

Read 1324 times Last modified on Monday, 11 October 2010 19:13
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