Another beautiful and moving after affect of visiting the ashram occurred for me this week. Some very deeply held heavy energy was unveiled to me and healed.
Last Sunday a mass of heavy energy was lifted that was connected to the depression to which all my family members all seem to be subject. I actually thought it was part of a new guide that was revealed to me on the way home from the ashram 3 weeks ago (wow, has it only been three weeks?) but something about it kept nagging at me. I knew something was off because my eating habits were indicating a problem even though I couldn’t locate it. I always get into food addiction mode (as I call it) when I am not conscious of something bugging me. Finally, I woke up Sunday morning knowing that the energy needed to be released and after focusing on it throughout the day, it lifted.
Then, 3 days later a part of me that contained a lot of anger and resentment, an emotional part that was like a young child having a tantrum who could not allow anything good to happen because she is overwrought, also allowed healing and integrating. However it was also being carried very deeply in my system and it took some effort to allow healing. So much transformation was happening that I woke up dead tired – as if I didn’t sleep AND I worked hard all night.
I did enough healing and had enough spiritual solace while at the Ashram 3 weeks ago to get to the place of these healings this week. While there are many other reasons why I went to the ashram, this week’s transformation seemed to be the biggest most helpful result of that visit. I am so GRATEFUL that I listened to my intuition and went, instead of canceling at the last minute like I wanted to. Sometimes when we are ready to heal or transform something that we have held onto for a long time and is lodged so deeply that it governs all our choices and thoughts although we are unaware of it, the recovery or aftermath is fraught with sadness, confusion and chaotic emotions.
I have been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions BUT I am noticing that there is still an inner peace and trust that I did not have a month ago. I am also noticing that I have been attracting more clients and am connecting more with volunteer opportunities and individuals with whom I believe I will be building community. In order to have the life I want and to continue to be in alignment with my higher self I have to be able to receive as well as give, to allow the flow of transformational and manifesting energy as well as take inspired action, and always love myself through it all. I know this energy/emotion I shifted this week acted as a barrier to me allowing the flow of ease in all areas of my life. I also know it contributed to my liver and pancreas not functioning at optimal levels. I know this month’s transformation is another big step in creating that.
I am so humbled and so grateful.