This is truly an incredibly intense opportunity to practice integrating the spiritual into the physical. And I am practicing away but there are days when I feel like a failure. Since the underlying fear is so strong it merely retreats into the background rather than releasing – or I have so many layers to get through that more and more fear just comes up. Either way, every hour of every day I have to choose again to be in trust and to reconnect with the feeling of being loved and supported. I like it better when things flow easier or when an opening occurs and then I get to experience a shift right away. This re-choosing every day, many times a day, is hard and I worry it is requiring more focus than I will continue to have.
I am proud of how I am holding up but oh my god!! What in the world did I agree to that led to this and how do I get it to change without losing myself in the fear?
Prayers are gratefully accepted!!!