It has been a week of clearing and re-balancing.
My monk friend and I had a conversation to followup on my confusion about what was going on (see 2 blogs ago). We talked about many things but I think I was trying to pull her back into a sort of friendship that isn’t beneficial to either of us. I was feeling down and lonely and a bit panicky about my immediate future and wanted her to help me but I didn’t specifically ask for help because I knew we were not supposed to be relying on each other that way (according to our guidance received in August). So after our conversation I let go.
I was able to channel for myself – first time in a few weeks. That reconnection helped a lot. It is indicative of me moving forward instead of holding on to old energy.
I stopped trying to make things happen – specifically a job. I have intended that I be guided to the most beneficial way of making money for me. I check in with my guidance about what to do each day and I ask to heal/release any ego attachments that might be interfering with what is in my highest and best interest. I am quicker to love up any resistance to any of this (yay!).
I have made several changes in my supplements, food and exercise to help my body have more energy. I have more to go but the changes so far (in 3 weeks) have made a lovely difference. I am more rested when I wake up, I retain more energy throughout the day, and I am able to exercise without pain. All good things. Plus it is just easier to be grounded. My body is integrating more of my higher self each day.
My book is coming along and I noticed a pattern that has given me hope. I noticed that I am definitely on an upswing, recovering from the hole I fell into wherein I hit bottom with cancer. The healing has progressed nicely and now I am moving into more joy, allowing and acceptance. Writing this book has shown me a lot of positive aspects of my life that I didn’t notice before. It is easier for me to let go of the melancholy and general negativity that I have felt around my experiences. I have been able to work very closely with some sadness and shock over how harsh my experiences have been because of the choices I made due to my internal toxic belief system and limitations I had not cleared yet. All of that seems to be healing.
I have a lot of hope for my future being VERY different than my past in this life. This time the hope is not tied to an expectation of what that will look like, although I certainly have my desires.
Today I am calm, accepting and open to all the joy that is ALREADY me.