At first the doors seemed as if they wouldn’t open. They were so heavy and corroded. They had obviously been closed for a very long time and it didn’t seem as if there was enough help to open them. I struggled, trying to push, then pull. I prayed and then complained a lot. I thought I oiled the rails on the bottom and cleared out all the debris but they had been closed for so long, maybe they just weren’t going to open. No matter how much effort I expended, they stayed shut tight even though they bulged outward from the need to open to whatever was inside.
I did feel for a short moment what it could be like if those doors would open one day last week. But the moment passed and I was left only with the memory and the intense desire to open them permanently, leading to me striving even harder.
One day soon after that moment I spent some time with two incredible and generously supportive friends. They tended to the earth and space outside of the doors and helped sooth what was inside. Everything began to blossom and respond to the attention. One of those friends had the exact perfect frequency that he beamed to the doors. My desire and need to have them open was so great I let him, although I could only take it in short bursts because the light was so bright and I became a little doubtful that I was worthy of this help.
Then a miracle occurred. Without any further struggle, the doors to a much deeper level of my heart began to open, slowly, cautiously and happily. They creaked and moaned as the energy inside peaked out and moved to integrate. I became aware that much of the internal discomfort I had been experiencing over the past 2 months was the feeling of those closed doors. I felt them long before they were ready to open and then wasn’t patient about it. I thought I had gone backwards and closed down more and then tried to push the re-opening.
Today I am clear it was a step into me that I have been asking for and allowing. I am so grateful and in love with my friends for being the extension of god that they are and fulfilling the role so sacredly yesterday that I needed. I am aware that the activation, opening and loving was experienced by all of us in the way we each needed. I needed my heart to go ahead and open. Someone else needed support in moving into her next level of being. The third person needed support in opening to his deeper purpose in this life to be comfortable taking the next step. It was a magical day. I am so in love with God right now.