I played a game with myself for most of last year. I spent a lot of time visioning, with intention to manifest, winning the lottery; a big win with lots and lots of millions. Each and every time I imagined taking care of my health first – paying for the proper medical tests, getting the medicine and medical help I needed (no insurance), getting massages and/or chiropractic work regularly, and paying someone(s) for personal training and exercise motivation. After that I would get to do a lot of fun but expensive stuff (especially buy a new car). My visioning became so strong that I had to do some inner work about being present because so much of my energy was in my vision.
Then about the beginning of December the urge to look at gyms became strong and I actually joined one. I panicked slightly about the money commitment but the intuitive push was so strong I could not ignore it. A few weeks later I joined one of those massage membership places where you pay a small fee each month to get reasonably priced massages. I haven’t been as regular about going to either as I would have thought but I am doing more for myself than I did before. AND I got free medical insurance under the Affordable Care Act where all my medicines and medical visits are free also.
Recently I was griping to myself about not being able to generate more income or win the lottery when it hit me (hard I might add) that the immediate things I wanted to do with the money other than buy a new car DID come to me. I manifested it without winning the lottery. The gym I go to has all kinds of classes and free help with weight training, the massage place has extremely reasonable massages and I like the massage therapists, and my health is MUCH better since I have been able to go to the doctor regularly (I mean extremely better).
I manifested what was important for me. I am much more relaxed about life now and pretty amazed at what has shown up and how.
Do you ever find yourself doing something, or making a choice to go in a different direction without knowing why? I bet it is your intuitive guidance at work in a way that is new for you.
I have been extremely intuitive for a long time but how the intuition shows up has changed quite a bit. It used to be I just saw pictures in my head. Then I heard words, then I started feeling what other people are feeling (still trying to stop that one), then I just knew. I would expand my awareness to get to the information then, as I grew spiritually, it would come to me.
NOW it IS me. For instance yesterday I paid for some counseling that I would NEVER have done even 6 months ago. I didn’t even think about it. I saw the offer and just did it. I even had to contact the person making the offer because the link didn’t work. I actually didn’t even wonder why I was doing it until this morning. But the answer came very fast – it is the right thing for me to do right now.
I don’t question myself when those kinds of answers come.
So if you no longer get answers in your head or feel pulled ina direction, pay attention to what is happening. Maybe your dreams are different, or you have a deep knowing now.
In spite of years of spiritual awakening and all kinds of experiences that tell me otherwise I still sometimes question my intuition, especially if I have an emotional reaction to the guidance (as in I don’t want to follow it). However, at this point in my life my intuition is mostly spot on correct; I just don’t get all the information my mind may need to comfortably act in accordance with it.
For instance, I recently went to the eye doctor. I was all excited about getting new glasses but I kept hearing from my guidance very clearly that I wouldn’t be ordering them until March. If any of you know me, you know I am not the most patient of people. Even after years and years of growing and maturing in my spiritual mastery while in this very human body I still am very impatient and I didn’t want to wait to order glasses. I kept asking my guidance why and, like usual, I did not receive an answer or I couldn’t comprehend the answer that was given.
Once I saw the doctor, however, I received part of my answer. My eyes have reacted to my high blood sugar (which has been very high for probably about a year now) and the doctor told me to hold off on getting glasses until I had the blood sugar under better control. I saw a different doctor for the blood sugar issue 3 days later and got some new meds. It has been two weeks and the guidance hasn’t changed and the blood sugar is coming down – slowly. AAAAND it turns out the medical part of my vision care (the dr’s visit and all the tests, etc) are covered under the new insurance I get under the Affordable Care Act, which doesn’t kick in until somewhere near the end of March. So I can get the complete exam that I could not afford without the insurance.
Don’t you love it when things work out like that? Another example for me to remind me to trust my intuition (as long as I am sure it is my intuition and not my emotional/egoic self).
Thank you universe/spirit/ my guides for showing me where I needed to allow more and surrender more around income and financial support.
I used to hate when that happened, now I am grateful. I want to heal all the parts of me that do not trust that I am always provided for. Before this incident I would have told you I did trust and Iam lighter for it, BUT when a client who usually purchases sessions throughout the year recently took advantage and paid fort two packages at once (I offered her one) totaling 6 hours I freaked a little bit. I knew that meant she wouldn’t be purchasing additional time this year and I wondered if I would be short in the coming months because she banked so much of my time at a greatly discounted price.
That lasted an hour before I remembered that I am trusting and actually have had plenty of proof over the past few months that I AM now provided for. Although it may not look like I thought it would or be enough to have what I think I want, it is usually enough for what I need. So I took many breaths, moved my energy further into the knowing that I AM taken care of and that money flows perfectly for me, and I accepted the payment for the two packages totaling 6 hours.
So thank you Universe/guides for using her to help me trust even more. And thank her for trusting me enough to help on her spiritual evolutionary path that she paid for so much time with me. I am honored.
Would you like to open your heart more? Want to provide the inner space to receive? Be silly and day dream without any thought to the practicalities.
Think of all the fun, silly, sacred, magical things you can do or create. Dreaming up your list of desired events or experiences is the perfect way to open your inner self to more possibilities. Don’t let your notion of how, cost or timing get in the way of your outrageous desire for delight. In other words, do not hold back on dreaming up what you want. Just let yourself feel the wonderful expansion that comes when you think about these things. I just put everything on the list I want to do or be able to do in my life
Here’s mine in no particular order (warning – I share everything and I am not practical at all):
Take a boat tour amidst dolphins.
Visit my college roommate, who lives across the country.
Visit my brother and his kids enough that the kids grow up knowing me.
Tour northern Italy.
Dance with and hanging from silk rope (like a trapeze artist)
Jump out of a plane just once (and get it filmed).
Go back to Paris and leisurely explore.
See the northeast US – Boston, Maine, etc.
Experience a tender, intimate (and physically satisfying relationship with a man.
Feel comfortably part of a community.
Spend time with a personal trainer in the perfect environment with all the exactly perfect equipment for me.
Increase my flexibility and stamina in a fun way.
Create and cherish friendships with people locally.
Experience the freedom again to create art when I want to.
Love myself thoroughly no matter what I weigh or the status of my health or wealth.
Take pleasure every day in the sacred beauty of this world and my relationship to it and in it.
Be able to digest the foods I desire OR only desire the foods I can digest easily.
Have beautiful real flowers in my house/apt every single day.
Go to and spend days at Disney world – until I am sick of it.
Go to India in a comfortable way.
Live in a home that is so open it feels like living outside (in comfort).
Be able to assist other people as guided with NO thought towards income and no need to think about it.
WHAT WOULD YOU PUT ON YOUR LIST??
I am 54 - well past the age where I should have to even bother with how I look. I am definitely in the wise woman stage of my life. I started working out to improve my health yet the vast amount of 'crap' around looks and weight that is moving on up and out to be healed and loved up obfuscated the whole reason I thought I was guided to join a gym. I am surprised there is still so much, including the belief that if I am not thin enough or look good enough (according to some standard I will never meet) I won't find a partner. And maybe THAT IS one of the reasons I was pretty much pushed into a gym – to heal all that stuff.
(Now, mind you, I have never had a partner in this life even though I still seem to be clinging to the notion that I want one. In my continuing inner discovery of who I am I might find out I really don't, but not yet.)
I seem to have lost the focus of better health and fortifying my body to hold the vast amount of energies that flow through and want to stick, as well as releasing anything that no longer resonates with the incredibly high vibration my body is moving into. The incredibly wonderful notion that I am bringing all the spiritual energy fully into the body (FINALLY) just went away as I go to a gym every day where people work out to look good and as all that stuff that I sublimated as I have lived is purging itself out of me (oh and as the owner of another place I joined to use machines to help reduce inflammation and heal joint pain decided he needed to talk to me about my food choices to ‘help’ me lose weight).
So I have taken a step back and regained my focus. I am projecting my unconditionally loving heart energy through me, forgiving myself for lowering my vibration in the face of so many other people’s issues and in the midst of all my inner clearings. I am envisioning that same lovely god energy/all that is/loving energy flowing through the two places I work out to help me remember to be who I truly am when I go. I am considering this just another place to practice being me no matter what else is going on while all the experiences combine to help me continue to expand my awareness of who I am.
What happens to you when you stop and be still? I have been practicing that each night, along with loving myself thoroughly. I have ‘worked’ through so much inner old karma, past life memories, stored emotions and debilitating beliefs and expectations that I am now in a space to be the love I know I am (we all are). Well, for this week, anyway.
Tonight: As I lay here dipping into a higher version of love, I feel the energy flow deep within me – through my body, my emotions, my psyche even. I also begin to hear the never ending voices from many aspects of my higher self reassuring me. At this moment nothing is wrong, nothing needs to be completed, nothing needs to be changed. I am one with the love that I AM. I feel opening within my body’s energy as I get intuitive glimpses of hurts and constrictions dissolving. Every thought is sacred and I am in love with everyone I think of.
In this oneness of love my future does not come to me. I hear that the future is going to be so different that I cannot imagine it and will not limit it by seeing it now while I am still in the grip of some mental and emotional limitations. I am reminded how much more comfortable I am in my body and that the previous underlying ever present flow of fear has not been felt this week.
I am ‘shown’ (it is communicated to me) how much positive effect I can have on the surrounding energies by being in this love place. It is so much more than I could have logically explained. The effect is huge, moving through time, space and matter easily and swiftly. I love that.
I appreciate. Period. I appreciate.
One of the things you learn as you open and blossom spiritually is that you and you alone are responsible for your reactions, your emotions and your choices. No matter what another person chooses, wants or creates, you have choice in how you respond – or if you respond.
It is a very freeing notion but it can also be a scary one. That means there is no way or need to blame anyone else for how you feel around them. The only choice is do you want to continue to be around them, or communicating with them? Check in with your intuition first to find out if it is in your highest and best good to continue the relationship as it is, time to change your perceptions and expectations and let the relationship continue, or time to just let go.
No matter what you choose know it is your choice. Even if the other person makes no change in their behavior or attitude you still have choice. It doesn’t matter what hurtful words might have been exchanged or if there is some blaming or finger pointing going on. The truth is (as I mentioned above) you have full choice and full responsibility. So when you are contemplating how to proceed, focus on your intuition, your reactions, your triggers and emotions not anything about the other person.
I recently had a conversation (well many) with a friend which pointed out some very different perceptions of how our relationship has been going (well we kind of agreed on how it is going, it is the why that was very different). I also noticed a great deal of anger towards her. Now I know if I am that angry there is an expectation I have been carrying that I feel has not been fulfilled. Whatever the expectation is, it is MY expectation and the other person has no obligation to fulfill it, unless there has been a verbal or written agreement specifically made about it. In this case there was not.
So I went inward and found nothing. I expected (there is that word again) to find some anger, hurt, entanglement etc.; and it might be there, I am just not finding it - yet. Maybe I am in shock still from the conversation? Maybe I have acknowledged my responsibility enough that I am at peace with it? I am not feeling bad, guilty or angry (my three ‘go-to’ usual responses). But it is more likely that I trust enough to know that this will work out the way it is supposed to for our highest good. I will have the enlightening moments of clarity when I am ready and the relationship will evolve in a manner exactly designed for our best spiritual growth. I have let go of the anger/blaming I was doing and whatever expectation I had of her. I am grateful to have had this learning opportunity to embrace more fully my responsibility as it serves to increase my spiritual mastery in the every day world.
I know my commitment is to my spiritual path in this life and everything else is sublimated to that. I release, surrender, listen to my intuition to serve the greater ‘good’ the best I can. However, I discovered recently that I am not as surrendered or humble in my heart as I thought or desire, as it appears that there remains a part of me that still sees/feels serving is only about others and is just waiting for the time when it will be my turn to be served and celebrated.
That time for me each year is my birthday. That is the time I expect there to be celebration of and for me. My ego really wants other people to join in that celebration. After all I support others a lot during the year shouldn’t there be at least one time when I don’t have to give, when others give to me and celebrate how wonderful I am? Yes I am aware of how that reads but that is the truth of this part of me (read on before you get too judgy). It is also part of the way I have gotten through some of the harsher lessons of my ascension/spiritual growth process.
This year I got a huge does of humble pie for my birthday as no one was around to celebrate me. I had expectations of my friends and family around my birthday and they did not fulfill them (and the one family member I had NO expectations of actually wished me happy birthday in our family’s traditional way). I was heart sick because I thought I was creating a better life with people who I could count on to be there when it was important to me. On top of that, everything I wanted to do fell apart – even to the level of trying to get gas for my car that day (the place was packed).
I went home after the gas fiasco, realized I was getting very dramatic about all of this, calmed down, and reached inside of me to nurture the part that has never felt loved or celebrated; the part that will do for others so that at some point others will do for me; the part that holds so tight to the expectation that at least on my birthday someone will act as if they love me and do something fun with me – even maybe pay for it to help me feel special. I also embraced the part that has wholeheartedly (or as whole as I can get) served to help humanity and individuals, from clients to strangers, with the expectation of seeing change within them in a way I judge to be better, and possibly getting some kind of ‘reward’ from the universe.
My big birthday revelation is that serving is VERY different than I thought. It involves surrendering so thoroughly to the love that is ALL of us that there is no part of me searching for love or validation outside of me or for any kind of reward from anyone or the universe. It means I serve my highest good, knowing (and intending) that it is the highest good of others too. It means I exist as the love energy period – no need for return of it in a certain way from others at any time. I serve myself as the expanded all that is, that everyone is, because I too am love. This way I can truly assist in anyone’s and everyone’s fulfillment of their divine purpose and passion.
It was a hurtful lesson with fabulous results.
One of the most beautiful results is that I am taking better care of myself and finally addressing some pretty scary health issues. My outlook and actions are different now in every area of my life.
I joined a gym with tons of classes and have been enjoying everything my intuition tells me to try. I am not fighting the need to exercise but I am not pushing myself to do what my body cannot to assuage any fears or ‘shoulds’. I am going to the beach every day to sit in the sun and meditate, relaxing into gratefulness as a way to ease me into such an expanded awareness that I need the exercising to help my body hold the energy. I am not panicking about money, I am embracing that I am always guided and provided for and, lo and behold, money is flowing (a bit slower than I like but at least not dammed up). I am making appointments with clients at times that work for me instead of dropping everything I had planned to be there the moment they want me. And I have energetically let go of all the friendships where I do not feel uplifted when I am with the person, and where the relationship energy is based on old issues rather than just fun and companionship.
All in all best birthday gift ever. Thank you to all of you who made it possible.
PS – I did have some lovely birthday wishes from some great people (including lots of facebook friends) just not the ones I expected or through I was close to.
I woke up yesterday knowing that much of the heaviness of my past has (finally) been released enough that I can now assume my future can be different than I was expecting. It can be lighter, happier, more creative and more financially abundant. I feel reborn and unformed, excited to try new things and not too impatient (yet) to begin that trying.
I know I have heard (you probably have too) that my (your) future is not or does not have to be based on your past. But when you (I) are carrying so much heavy energy, old beliefs/expectations and emotions, we often feel as if we are carrying a big huge heavy endless burden or that we are slogging along in quicksand, sinking deeper and deeper rather than soaring to the highest and grandest version of ourselves on earth. I have had many discussions with various people about how no matter how much ‘processing’, allowing or intending we do, we don’t feel all that different.
The intensity of the energies over the past few months has changed that - or at least it has for me. We now have the opportunity to make great changes or allow the changes we have already made become more conscious. I feel like I can take a deep breath and really relax. My body has been doing its best to release the remaining old stuff too, sometimes quite painfully. However, my commitment to loving myself and nurturing myself through energy and emotional work AND physical support is resolving some of that intense body sensation. YAY.